i had one of the single most annoying shopping experiences of my life today. i left work a little early and decided on a whim to stop into the gap to get myself a new pair of jeans. typically i absolutely hate shopping for jeans - they're always too long, too big in the waist, too tight on my butt, etc. - but the roommate just recently found some really cute ones at gap, so i decided to take my chances there.
i wandered to the back of the store where an entire wall is devoted to jeans. low-rise, boot cut, boyfriend, curvy, short, extra long, dark, distressed, faded.... you name it, there was a shade and style of denim to fit it. unfortunately there wasn't a pair that would fit ME. i started sifting through the pristinely folded pants and immediately noticed a pattern. all of the jeans seemed to come only in sizes 0, 2, and 4, many of which were also long lengths. i started rummaging with a fury, convinced that the gap wouldn't betray me like this and only carry jeans that fit tall stick figures (think 6 foot praying mantis in gap denim). after unearthing one size 8 and one size 10 (both in horrific shades of stonewash that didn't even look like they belonged with all of those dark, tiny jeans) i gave in to the truth. there were only little people sizes at the gap. i stepped back from the shelves crammed with all of those jeans and sighed. i thought briefly that i had inadvertantly wandered into the children's section. nope. regular womens section it was. shaking my head in disappointment, i felt my excitement for shopping deflate like a balloon. turning my back on the traitorous denim wall, i hung my head and walked dejectedly out of the store, not even noticing or caring anymore about the massive sale going on or the cute ballet flats i was eyeing when i first arrived.
did i think about asking the sales people if they had normal girl sizes? yeah, for about 2 seconds and then that scene from pretty woman where the snotty sales women won't help julia roberts flashed through my mind. it could have gone something like this....
me: um, excuse me. do you have any of these jeans in bigger sizes?
gap twiglet: (blank stare) um, why?
me: because right now in order to wear any of those jeans, i would have to buy two pairs and sew them together.
gap twiglet: (with look of disdain) i don't think we have anything in your size. marcus! do you think we have anything in her size?
gap mo: (sashaying over from where he was folding tank tops, gives a once over, frowns, folds arms) oh honey, no. we only like our clothes to be seen on tiny people. lane bryant is right across the hall.
me: fuck you.
it just wouldn't have been pretty. maybe i'll give a different location a chance, but i'm pretty sure i'll never venture into that particular store again. the last thing a girl needs when she's trying to find a pair of jeans that fits well and makes her ass look great is to be mocked by 100 pairs of jeans that can be worn only by roughly 5% of the female population. come on gap. i'd love to fall into your jeans, i just don't want to have to give myself an eating disorder to do so.
Posts
11 comments:
what i hate is moving further down the column of jeans.....ya know, beyond the 30x30 jeans. but little gap inc. trick....above the wall o' jeans, seen by the public is the "overstock". they would have been there.
and the only reason you didn't find your size is because all the other normal girls have already purchased them!
andrea, i so hear you. i am six feet tall, yes, but i can never find ANYthing at gap. NOTHING. they look ridiculous on my shape - i have a long torso and stubby legs for someone so tall. it's heinous, really. i ended up recently dropping a ton of money on a single pair of jeans by paige denim. it was a splurge, but i wear them all the time and they are AWESOME. i highly recommend! - am's other andrea
andrea - good suggestion about the jeans. i'm probably going to have to break down and splurge. i'm looking into a pair of citizens right now...
adam - there was no overstock there. just tiny jeans mocking me. :)
do you like that material, though? i sometimes find citizens roughish, made with stretch that is sort of rigid, which my flab revolts against. paige denim is NO STRETCH, soft as can be, and just delicious to slip into. but that's just me. i LOATHE stretch, as it makes me feel like my body is stuck in spandex, which really is not a good look for me. i can't believe how much i think about jeans. - andrea
welcome to my world... i've been here for over 5 years now... that's when the gap began betraying me... and there is no sign of relief in sight. putt...
omg! i love andrea's use of the word "delicious" to describe jeans! brilliant!
andrea - actually, i haven't seen the citizens yet. i have a friend who bought some on ebay but they're too short, so she's going to sell them to me cheap if i like them. we shall see. and for the record, this alleged flab you reference must be imaginary.
annie - no gap betrayal can possibly beat their resurrection of the skinny black pant. ugh.
i know, right? any denim described as delicious is most definitely worth trying out. i'm sure my ass will thank her for the recommendation.
andrea. i do not bullshit about jeans. i bullshit about someone ELSE's jeans, of course, but never about my OWN. i take comfort seriously. i would rather hang out in dirty sweatpants sans bra. so any jeans that even dare to approach this utopia deservedly earn my supplication. and thanks, adam! delicious is very important in clothing, and i don't throw the word around lightly. PAIGE DENIM IS A BIG O. - andrea.
and the only reason you didn't find your size is because all the other normal girls have already purchased them!
Just what I was going to say. I used to get mad at these stores too but then I realised their only flaw is not stocking these sizes in lower quantities because they're obviously not in demand as much as the more 'normal' sizes.
Though can I just say -- If your jeans size if lower than the age at which you learned to read, you need to eat a fucking donut.
I just read this and laughed so hard!! Misory does love company. I am 5'10" all all legs - I need jeans with an inseam of 36" unless I plan to wear flip flops or flats. I used to be a fan of the gap but no longer. They rely on their website for the tall or long lengths. I hate to order jeans without trying because most likely they won't fit and then I have to trek down to the mall anyway and get the evil eye for so many returns. Plus, most of the time, the website only has the tini sizes left there too!! What I have started to do is to suck it up and spend more money on jeans because I do live in them. I went to nordstrom and tried on a million pair. I like the seven for all mankind bootcut NYD in 36" inseam. I found them for $35 dollars less than nordstrom at adasa.com They have coupons oftern. They arrived in 4 days and are "delicious". I also like the paige hollywood hills but can't find a deal on the 36" inseam. My dilema is whether to suck up the price tag of $170 that paigepremiumdenim.com charges for them? It's not easy being tall!!
Post a Comment