how many licks does it take?

much like the tootsie roll commercial where the wise old owl asks how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop, i often wonder how many things it takes to make us truly happy. if the wise old owl doesn't know about his tootsie pop, then i sure as hell don't know the secret to the happiness of life.

but, really, when you're an adult and you are out on your own, working, looking for relationships, balancing friends and finances, and just trying in general to find things that make you happy or even content, what does it really take?

it seems to me that a lot of people i know right now are at some sort of crossroads. maybe they have the job, but don't like where they live. others have fantastic relationships but are miserable at work. some have the job, the mate and the house, but no close friends around to share in their happiness. as for myself, i love my job and am getting a promotion soon which will help me career-wise and financially, i have a great apartment and wonderful friends, my family is (pretty) sane and we get along great. so what's missing? the guy, of course. and why, oh why, does the lack of that special someone make such an impact on all of those other things that are necessary in the recipe for happiness? i know that i'm echoing a certain episode of "sex and the city" where carrie bradshaw ponders the same kinds of questions, but the questions have merit in the real world.

i guess i'm just musing aloud (or rather in type) about happiness and how it takes so many things to lead us there. why does it seem so unattainable or just beyond our reach? when will we be happy with just the job and the house or just the relationship or just having a family that isn't completely dysfunctional? can we ever come to a place in our lives where we put aside materialistic bullshit, ignore the norms of society and what seems to be expected in terms of financial, career, and relationship success and just be content with our lot in life? is it because we are all programmed to strive for more, to do more, be better in everything we take on? and when we do find ourselves in that perfect state of happiness, why does it always seem to be so fleeting? can we be happy in our own skin, in our current state without letting what's "missing" negate what we have?

5 million questions and no answers. i think i'd like to trade that wise old owl places. at least i could figure out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop and not how many licks it takes to make me give up on happiness.