coffee talk

me: (looking up from where i'm typing away on my computer while sitting in a local coffee shop) "ew. it smells like bacon."

roommie: (smiling and inhaling deeply) "i know! i love the smell of bacon!"

me: (gagging) "gross."

roommie: (eyes lighting up) "i wish they had bacon-scented candles."

me: (more gagging) "that's disgusting! i don't know if i've ever heard of anything so disgusting!"

roommie: (smirking) "i'd burn the hell out of a bacon candle. our place would smell like bacon all the time!"

me: (now frightened that i may come home one day and find a wick stuck in a jar of bacon fat) "and i'd throw it out the window. you know how i feel about bacon."

roommie: "what about a turkey bacon candle?! you like turkey bacon!"

me: "still fucking gross. meat products should not be turned into air fresheners."