25 is the new 80?

i was standing at the pick-up counter at starbucks, minding my own business and waiting for my grande skinny latte when i overheard this conversation between two girls also waiting for their coffee…..

girl 1: “oh my god. there is NO way you are older than me. i think i’m the oldest person on our team.”

girl 2: “i don’t know about that…. i’m sure i’m older than you”

girl 1: “no way. i mean, i’m 23 and i don’t know anyone older”

girl 2: “yeah, i’m definitely older than you. believe me, i’m old.”

girl 1: “it’s not like you’re 25 or something! come on!”

at this point i turned and bitch slapped this girl. (ok, not really, but i wanted to)

girl 2: “no, i’m 24, but i’m turning 25 in october! Ugh!”

another bitch slap.

girl 1: “oh, that’s still MONTHS away! you definitely do not look 25, trust me. you look young!”

and yes, bitch slap #3.

girl 2: “thanks. oh my god. how much sugar are you putting in that?!”

(at this point both have gotten their iced coffees and are at behind me at the counter adding sugar and milk)

girl 1: giggling “oh i like to put a lot of sugar and a lot of milk. you know, so it doesn’t even taste like coffee!”

girl 2: “ooohhh. good idea!”

and off they went to drink their non-coffee tasting sugary milk drinks and lament about having one foot in the grave at the ripe old ages of 23 and 24. it’s a good thing that in my 30s i have the inner peace and strength to refrain from yelling at and/or inflicting violence upon idiot stick figures with no soul. i returned to my desk and decided not too long after to pack it in for the day and head home. after all, us senior citizens need our rest.