humiliation a la email

i got an email forward from a friend the other day. before i describe the email and how i managed to completely humiliate myself, let me explain the dynamics of this particular friendship. this guy lives on the east coast and i met him when i was out visiting another friend a couple of years ago. we hit it off, hooked up, and have continued to keep in touch. he sent me flowers on my birthday, came to visit last march, and we still talk and flirt, but nothing will ever come of it. ok, that said, i got an email forward from him the other day.

as soon as i saw it, i immediately thought that it might be a good topic for my blog. the email was a forwarded link to a "crush calculator." now, coming from this guy, i was a little surprised to get this kind of email, but no matter. i clicked on the link and landed on a page that gushed about how the crush calculator could determine whether or not someone was your true love, soulmate, blah, blah, blah. i rubbed my palms together with wicked anticipation, ready to completely defy this asinine idea of simply putting your name and someone else's name in a weblink and hitting "go!" to find out who your true soulmate is. the possibilities for ripping this thing to shreds on my blog were endless. i cackled with an evil satisfaction of finding yet another dating mechanism to tear apart. (see previous rants regarding online dating, kizmeet, blind dates, picking up men at church, etc.)

i folllowed the simple instructions: your full name. check. the names of up to 3 "crushes." hmmm.... let's really make this thing wonder... we'll choose the gay friend, the boy who never called, and the ex. none of these would ever result in my eternal happiness (well, the gay friend could except for that whole sex thing), so i couldn't wait to see what the all-knowing oz of the crush calculator would say about these guys. i typed in the three names and clicked enter.

to my horror, a screen popped up and said something to the effect of, "the joke's on you! your name and the names of the people you entered have been sent to: (insert name of person who had forwarded email)" i almost died. not that it matters that my friend got those names back, but come on... when it's a "friend" you've hooked up with and still have a flirtation with, do you really want to send them the names of 3 guys you actually put into a crush calculator?!

so, tail between my legs, i sent my friend an email that was all, "ha ha, very funny! did you, um, actually get an email back? because you know i was just testing this thing out so i could make fun of it on my blog...." to which i get a response like "yeah, got the email back and you listed x,y, and z. suuuuuure you did it for the blog! of all the people i sent that to, you're the only one who did it. ha ha!"

christ. fuck. ugh. how embarrassing. but it really WAS for the blog! and now the friend thinks i have a) a secret crush on my gay friend, b) the pathetic hope that dude will still call and c) that i want to get back together with the ex. no bueno.