to we or not to we

ok, so i know it's really annoying when you're talking with a new guy and 2 minutes into the conversation, he is overwhelming you with "WE do this", "WE do that", "WE like that bar", "WE hate that restaurant", "WE might be breaking up", etc. if i'm just standing next to someone at the bar, making idle conversation while waiting for a drink, i don't need to know the details of his relationship. however, there are certain situations when "WEing" is not only appropriate, but would be considered a courtesy.

i was at a work event a few weeks ago and hit it off really well with the guy who had organized it. the whole time we were there we were talking, asking each other about work, college, hobbies, bars, friends, living situations, etc. he made some flirty comments and i, who am told by my friends that i wouldn't recognize that a guy is flirting with me if he threw me over his shoulder and dragged me to his cave, actually thought there might be a spark. we had a lot in common, he had a fun, sarcastic sense of humor, and he never mentioned that he was dating anyone. period.

so, after a long thanksgiving weekend away and much coaching and encouragement from my friends, i finally crafted an email to him the week after we met. i referenced the work event, said it was nice to meet him, and then threw in the invitation that if he was going to be at x bar (one we agreed was a favorite for both of us and happened to be in my neighborhood) anytime soon and wanted to grab a drink, to let me know. as my friend ann would say, i was being the hunter. pat, pat, pat on the back for me. i seldom make a move on a guy, especially one i've met in a work situation. in fact, i've never thought of anyone i worked with as anything but a peer or colleague. but, there was something about this guy and how we got along and the flirty crap he said that made me take a deep breath, hit send, and pray i wouldn't regret it.

that was the tuesday after thanksgiving. i checked my email somewhat obsessively everyday after, growing more and more certain that i had made a complete and total ass of myself and he would never respond. to my chagrin, i finally got an email back on tuesday this week. i opened the email, with my hand halfway over my eyes as if that would protect me from any impending rejection that awaited. the message was very nice, said that he had enjoyed meeting me as well and as much as he appreciated the invite for a drink, he's actually dating someone and he didn't think it would be appropriate.

auuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sweet jesus in heaven. why the fuck had i even bothered to go out on a limb and ask this guy to meet up for a drink?! ugh. i just wanted to shrink into a corner and beat my head against the wall. had i really misread the situation?! did i imagine that there was a flirtation? what the hell had i been thinking? the whole thing has made me seriously question my ability to adequately gage interest from the opposite sex.

but, here's the question - shouldn't he have "WE'd" at some point? shouldn't there have been some sort of "WE like to go to that bar" or "WE are going to my parents' house for thanksgiving" or "WE are so busy during the holidays" or something?? couldn't there have been some reference to the girlfriend during our 2 hour conversation?

i'm so annoyed. all i seem to run into lately are guys who are dating someone else and either fail to mention it, not really care that they are dating someone and hit on me anyway, or tell me they're dating someone but it's not working out. great. JUST what i need. there needs to be rules on "WEing". be considerate. please. "WE" when appropriate and save some poor girl the trauma of making a fool of herself.