in absentia

i realize that i've been quite absent from the blogging world as of late. mostly due to having nothing of note to blog about, i've logged on, stared at the blank screen, started to write about yet another bout of road rage, too much drinking, my lack of motivation to work out, or the inevitable encounter with some chavvy guy, and then stopped and figured my poor internet readers had heard it all before....and again....and yet again....

so really i'm just checking in to say hi, i'm alive, completely sober and still single. in lieu of blogging, here are some things i *have* been doing lately.....

entertained my sister and niece (as you all know)

spent a fabulous weekend at my old stomping grounds in bloomington for jill & nick's nuptuals

went on the chicago architecture tour

and of course, celebrated pride weekend with my favorite moes

i also went to mayfest, took in a cubs game with annie, reported for jury duty, reconnected with my friend stephanie, rearranged our apartment, got to spend time with casi who escaped briefly from the land of potatoes, went for farewell drinks for a colleague, became unnaturally addicted to the british series "hollyoaks", got some very positive news about work, spent lots of time in 1R with my new fabulous neighbors, did some shopping, ate a lot, drank a lot and am now vowing to dust off that gym membership card and attempt to work off some of the fun i've had the past 6 weeks.

so please forgive my lack of blogging. i'm back, less busy and will surely be able to regale you with stories of bird poop, hangovers, idiot men and random encounters of the andrea kind. stay tuned.

VP of WHAT?

as i sat in the waiting area of the cook county courthouse yesterday awaiting my number to be called for the jury selection process, my fellow jurors and i were treated to the day's episode of the view. after one particular segment in which i thought for sure kathy griffin and baa baa waa waa were going to duke it out, the show went to a commercial break.

your typical, run-of-the mill feminine maxi pad commercial rolled and for the next 30 seconds my poor, bored-to-the-state-of-mush brain began to wonder who designs maxi pads. and more importantly, what is their job title? some examples i thought were fitting.....

Jane Doe, Senior VP of Leakage Prevention

John Doe, (right - as if these things are designed by a man, but i'm an equal opportunity smart ass)
Lead Project Manager, Protection Division

J. Doe, Sanitary Needs Director

J. Doe, Head Engineer, Pad Design Team

J. Doe, Absorption Specialist


i know, i know. why would i spend any amount of time actually thinking of these things?? i'll tell you why - because that's how much waiting for jury duty sucks. still, i'd love to meet someone who works for tampax or kotex or one of the other feminine hygiene companies and take a gander at their business card. i guess it's better than other jobs, though. like being a spooge mopper at a strip club. ew.