Dec 1, 2009
therefore, in keeping with the theme of this blog (fights i've lost), here are a few examples of recent challenges:
me v. the outlet mall: winner - outlet mall. how could i resist 50% off at banana republic??
me v. the boss: winner - boss. there is no point in arguing with someone who is more concerned about you having your outlook calendar up to date than what you are actually doing in your job. i basically just forfeited this one for the sake of my own sanity.
me v. the fudge: winner - fudge. this was no contest. having been sent back to chicago with a pound of my mom's delicious homemade fudge, i have been powerless to resist.
me v. the traffic: winner - traffic. it took 6 hours to get to indianapolis on wednesday night (usually a 3 hour drive). thank god jill was at the end of the journey with wine!
me v. the tree lights: winner - me, barely. after an hour of painstaking light-arranging on my parents' christmas tree, the bottom layer of lights went out. i almost threw the tree out the front door. luckily, after jiggling them a few times they came back on. i hope that's not a fire hazard.... mom and dad - keep a close eye on that!
me v. the cw: winner - the cw. (this one i blame fully on my roommate) the cw is the network that shows shows like "gossip girl", "90210", "melrose place", etc. i have gotten sucked in to 2 shows on this channel but have vowed not to get started on any more!
me v. the happy hour: winner - duh. do i even have to answer this one?
me v. the allergies: winner - allergies. i cannot seem to breathe like a normal human for even one day.
me v. the birds: winner - birds. no matter where i park, they find my car and turn it into target practice.
me v. the parking: winner - me. i do pretty much rock at wedging my car into the tiniest spaces.
me v. the christmas shopping: winner - right now the unfinished shopping is winning, but i'm pretty sure i'm going to end up being victorious and having it done by the end of the week.
me v. the work: winner - work. speaking of, i better get back to it!
Nov 18, 2009
so, i got there yesterday and walked up to the counter to tell the person working that i was there for a training session with kevin. and of course, kevin happens to be the most gorgeous trainer they have on staff. doh. i really should have asked for a less attractive trainer so i could have more comfortably discussed my weight (ouch), my eating and drinking habits (waaaay too much alcohol), and the dreaded BMI (anyone want to talk obesity?!). but, i was honest, figuring a) i'm not there because kevin and i met on match.com and are trying to date, b) if i'm not honest, he can't put together an appropriate plan for me and c) he's going to see me sweat, groan and possibly cry in the coming weeks, so i don't think being honest up front is the worst experience he's going to have with me.
all in all it went well, though it was more of an assessment than a regular training session so that he could measure my endurance levels, balance & flexibility, etc. officially, my training starts on saturday at 2pm. pray for me.
p.s. - the title of this blog is a quote from dear kevin after seeing me do a particularly heinous series of drills. bless his heart.
Nov 16, 2009
1.What is your current obsession ?
Researching MBA programs, stressing out about my first personal trainer session (eeek) and making plans for my annual Christmas visit to London!
2. What are you wearing today?
Black pants, green fitted sweater, black heels (the higher the better!)
3. What’s for dinner?
Greek food! I'm going out in Greektown for a friend's birthday. Opa!
4. What’s the last thing you bought?
Beer and a turkey burger at the bar last night; before that - personal training sessions. Those things don't really go together, do they??
5. What are you listening to right now?
Ryan Adams via my co-worker's Pandora streaming on her computer. I love sitting next to Kim!
6. What do you think about the person who tagged you?
No tag, this was self-inflicted. But, I did see it on Gary's blog and I think he is quite fabulous.
7. If you could have a house, totally paid for, fully furnished, anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
8. What are your must-have pieces for summer?
comfy skirts, capris, flip flops
9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
10. Which language do you want to learn?
11. What’s your favorite quote?
"Expect nothing and you will rarely be disappointed" is sort of my mantra, but I also love this one from Albert Einstein: "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
You said it, Al!
12. Who do you want to meet right now?
Peyton Manning so I can give him a big kiss for beating the Patriots last night!
13. What is your favorite color?
14. What is your favorite piece of clothing in your own closet?
Black fleece pullover
15. What is your dream job?
To be the head of a corporate foundation
16. What's your favorite magazine?
17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?
Probably a mani/pedi and a massage
18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas?
Being able to see people's cracks when they bend over. Some of us are just not meant to wear super low-cut jeans! Also, white socks with black shoes.
19. Who according to you is the most over-rated style icon?
Jessica Biel. Ick.
20. What kind of haircut do you prefer?
Longer than shoulder length with layers
21. What are you going to do after this?
Leaving to meet my friend for lunch - yay!
22. What are your favorite movies?
Love Actually, Sex & the City, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
23. What are three cosmetic/makeup/perfume products that you can't live without?
Aquage shine spray, C.O. Bigelow lip gloss, OPI nail polish
24. What inspires you ?
People who have gone through loss, illness and other issues and still keep a positive attitude and keep living their lives
25. Give us three styling tips that always work for you?
Baby oil on your body right after you turn off the shower, before you dry off - keeps skin soft all day; hair powder is genius on days when you're running late and don't have time to wash your hair; seche vite top coat over your self done nail polish will make your nails look like you've had a professional manicure or pedicure
26. What do you do when you “have nothing to wear” (even though your closet’s packed)?
Borrow from my roommate!
27. Coffee or tea?
28. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed?
Call friends to get together and drink wine; take a long bath; go to yoga
29. What is the meaning of your name?
I had to google this. Apparently it can mean brave and/or courageous. Who knew?!
30. Which other blogs do you love visiting?
The links listed on my blog plus other random finds that I see on other people's blogs
31. Favorite Dessert/Sweet?
Chocolate Chip Cookies
32. Favorite Season?
33. If I come to your house now, what would you cook for me?
Hahahaha! Trust me, you wouldn't want me to do that. We would order sushi.
34. What is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you?
Tell them directly that you won't put up with their actions anymore.
35. How do you calm yourself down when you are agitated or angry?
Music, venting to friends/family
36.Who is the modern ideal girl: The one who knows how to shop, dress and enjoy, or the one who is simple but manages the house, kids and herself well?
Nov 12, 2009
maybe tonight i will sleep in my workout clothes and see if that helps....
Nov 11, 2009
what are you wishing for today?
Nov 10, 2009
self: yup. mexico! maybe we can lose some weight and get ourselves a little spray tan by then, eh?
me: yes, we'll do that. and get a great dress for the wedding and maybe stay a couple of extra days for fun!
self: and have you thought about what else comes with this fabulous time?
self: yes. and?
me: beach wedding?
me: sun and food and music and an all-around good time? and celebrating with our friend S? and maybe some really good guacamole? ooh! and maybe we can go back to fajita republic and --
self: yeah, yeah, all of that. think! you're not thinking clearly.
me: what?! what are you talking about? money issues? because we have plenty of time to save up and the place is ALL INCLUSIVE! fabulous!
self: (big sigh and even bigger eyeroll) two words - plus. one.
me: ohhhhhhhh..... that......
self: yes, THAT.
me: well, we go to weddings and stuff all the time without a plus one. no big deal.
self: we go to weddings where we have large groups of close friends or family who are also attending. no need to have a plus one at those things, in fact we usually prefer it that way so we don't have to babysit a date and make sure he's having fun. this is different.
me: i cannot believe i'm going to say this, but you might be right.
self: holy crap. put it on the calendar! you admitted i was right!
me: oh, calm down. ok, let's think about this. destination wedding where a few people i know will be invited, but may or may not attend. bride and groom will be crazy busy the whole time. i'm good at talking to people and having fun even if i don't really know the group, but for a whole weekend it would be great to have someone there with us who we know...
self: no kidding. it gets pretty boring hanging out with just you.
me: shhhhhh. ok, so what do we do?
self: we have no choice. the plus one challenge is on like donkey kong. surely to god even you can find someone in the course of the next 10 months.
me: gee, thanks for the vote of confidence. sometimes i think you root for us to fail.
self: (feigning shock) i would never do such a thing.
self: i'll be your personal cheerleader for this one. just do not accept any help from our friend ann. bless her heart, she tries - well, sorta. mostly she likes to try to embarrass us and hook us up with the ickiest guys in the bar. remember that one guy who started petting your hair?! eeeek!!!
me: yeah, that was pretty disturbing. gross. ok, so no help from ann unless she's going to actually help and not make a mockery of this.
self: agreed. and anyone is fair game, so help from friends, roommates - ok, again with the exception of tim - work colleagues, etc. whoever has single, decent, available guys they can at least introduce us to must be drafted.
me: ok, i guess we'll see how it goes.
self: we'll do great! just wait and see!
me: wow. that was actually supportive. amazing.
self: well, i figure if we don't succeed, there's always the option to rent an escort.
me: and just when i thought i had you in my corner....
self: let the games begin.
Nov 9, 2009
had a fantastic day in bloomington with friends and parents. the weather was perfect for a day of tailgating, football, drinking, and cornhole. i finally got to see jill & nick's new home and we had a great time reminiscing about the old college days. after a solid 12+ hours of drinking we finally called it a night, but not until adam and i defeated everyone and reigned as the supreme euchre champs of the weekend.
after breakfast and showers, we headed out of bloomington and decided to stop at the brown county winery along the way. we did a little wine tasting and purchased a few bottles then hit the road again. after a while we stopped for lunch at bw3 and i got to see the first half of the colts game. we headed on to chicago after that and i spent last night hanging out with my roommates.
and on a few unrelated notes....
i HATE the kay jeweler commercials. i saw the first christmas one of the season just now and i threw up in my mouth a little. ick.
someone clipped my bumper on my way home tonight so i'll be taking my car for a wash to see if the paint rubs off. if not, i'll be calling this chick and her insurance company. fun times.
i'm an idiot and when i had to re-set the time on my coffee maker yesterday, i accidentally set it for pm instead of am. imagine my disappointment when i got up this morning expecting hot coffee and found instead that i had 12 hours to wait for it to brew. doh!
i was extremely impressed with myself when i found that i could sing pretty much every word to john michael montgomery's song "sold (grundy county auction)" when it came on xm radio on our way to bloomington on friday.
sometimes i have really good hair. today is not one of those days.
Nov 6, 2009
Nov 5, 2009
so why am i going into ridiculous detail about how miserable my allergies and asthma have made me over the years? because people don't get it. people who do not have severe allergies and/or asthma and have never seen a friend or loved one in the midst of an asthma attack so bad that their doctor actually says that person has NO BREATH SOUNDS (yes, this was what my doctor told me once), they don't get it. that's not to say that people don't try to be sympathetic. i hear things all the time like, "isn't there medication for that?" "can't you take a shot?" "yeah, i get a stuffy nose, too, when i'm around animals" "we'll only stay for a little while and you can tell me when you need to leave", etc. but i still don't think everyone truly understands and that's ok. at least they try to be nice about it. the people who really piss me off are those who dismiss allergies as not real, something that we make up because we don't like animals, or that we're being overly dramatic. i'm really sick of hearing from these people who can let their pet lay on their face and not have any sort of physical reaction tell me that i'm lying about the severity of my allergies.
this is the preface for what i'm about to say. i do not want to sit next to your pet on an airplane. does that mean i hate your pet or animals in general? no, of course not. if given the choice of sitting next to an animal that may urinate, poop, or yap for the duration of a flight, i would guess most people would choose to sit elsewhere just as a matter of their own comfort. i know most people would also choose not to sit next to a small child if given the option, but at least a child can have a diaper change and has a parent who can talk rationally to him or her in an effort to keep them calm and entertained. not that i'm comparing children to animals, but a lot of people seem to see them in the same category in travel situations.
still, the reason i don't want your pet next to me on a flight is not because of the potential noise or smell, it's because i'm allergic to it. i don't care if it is in a carrier and has to stay there for the entire length of the flight, per FAA regulations. your dog makes me physically ill and there is nothing i can do about it. sure, there's a chance that if the dog stays in the carrier under the seat, the likelihood of my allergies being affected is lower, but that doesn't mean i should have to take that risk. just because you want your pooch to go on vacation with you does not mean those of us with allergies should suffer. now that the airline industry is jumping on board with the option for cabin pets (and let's be honest, the revenue they can generate for allowing people to turn their pets into carry-on luggage), those of us with allergies are going to have to deal with more issues than the non-allergic passenger.
i looked at several airline websites before writing this, in hopes that i would find a clear policy as to their stance on how passenger allergy issues are addressed when there are pets on a flight. i could not find that information on any of the sites i checked. there's plenty of information about the type of carrier you can have, that the animals have to be "harmless, inoffensive and odorless" - right, good luck trying to get your pet to control its "odors" - how to get through security with a carry-on pet, etc. there was NO mention of how passengers with allergies should go about securing a seat away from someone traveling with a pet. there were no guidelines as to how to deal with a seating issue if the person next to you sits down with their pup in tow. there was nothing to state who gets preferential treatment - the person or the animal. i'm sure the crew members are given a more extensive outline of how to deal with these situations, but as a passenger i would like to know ahead of time so that i don't create a scene when i have to ask that the person next to me be re-seated because their dog could give me an asthma attack. i don't want to have to see the annoyed eye-rolls or the frustrated glares that i will most likely get when i have to come clean and admit that i have a legitimate health problem that could very easily be exacerbated by the animal flying near me. i think these policies need to be published and those traveling with pets should have to reveiw them before flying so that there are no surprises when i politely ask the flight attendant to re-seat fluffy and her human to somewhere besides my row. the sad truth is, i would most likely be the one who would be asked to move. sorry, but i'm not giving up my window seat because i'm next to someone with a pet and i have no qualms about making that known. if it's an upgrade to first class, however, we can talk.
there is one exception that i am absolutely happy to make - service animals. those traveling with service animals clearly need their assistance and i would never make a big deal over that. in that case, i would be glad to have the crew re-seat me. as one with a medical condition, i have to travel with medications; some people have to travel with service animals. it's just the way it goes.
i'm not an animal hater. in fact, if i could get a dog, i'd love to have one. but i can't and being around one in a confined space such as an airplane will do nothing but put my health at risk. reading about the changes that a certain airline has made recently to not only allow pets but use this as a marketing tool led me to a plethora of comments about the issue. some people sided with those of us who have allergies, stating:
"Sorry to hear that [airline name omitted] has no regard for those with allergies. There is no way for someone to escape allergens inside a small cabin. To add to that, if there is any severe reaction they would have a real difficulty on their hands. I am greatly disappointed"
"That is totally unfair to people who are allergice to cats, dogs, etc. If you wind up sitting next to the person with the pet then you can have a horrible allergic reaction while you are up in the air. Then what is [the airline] going to do? They should rethink this idea of allowing pets in the cabin with the passengers."
"How sad that airlines are so money hungry. There is no way that they considered people with allergies. Make no mistake, all allergy medicines will not be salvation to a person having an attack. I've been there. The airlines won't realize the error of their ways until either a person has a catastrophic attack and become hospitalized or God-forbid, dies from the pet allergy. Then, a lawsuit will be in order. Make no beans about, I've got just one time to experience a bad attack, and I won't hestitate to visit my lawyer! Can we say lawsuit?"
and then there are the ones who would rather travel with their pets in the cabin of the plane than stop to consider what that might do to the comfort and health of others:
"Anyone who is severely allergic to pets should always have their medications with them. The NIH says that Allergens are carried on clothes, among other things. So just sitting next to a pet owner on a plane or going to a restaurant can cause an allergy sufferer to have problems. If you know you are very allergic, take precautions. Bring your medicine, wear a mask. Most of us have our medical issues to deal with and be glad yours aren't worse."
hmmm.... am i glad that i have allergies instead of cancer? of course. will wearing a mask or taking medicine help me? nope. is being severely allergic to the point where i could have an asthma attack in an airlplane where there would not be the appropriate medical treatment not a bad enough medical condition for you? no? thanks for being so understanding. asshole.
"The air in most all aircraft is cyled out with clean outside air about every two minutes, so you who complain about allergies need to stop complaining about something that most likely won't even bother you."
i'm guessing the person who posted this little gem of knowledge is a physician and expert on allergies and asthma. thanks for clearing that up for all of us. moron.
"I think this is better than people that insit on flying with annoying litle children. As afar as people with allergies are concerned, don;'t that have medication for those things?"
first of all, you should really spell check before you post a comment like that because you already sound stupid enough by what you're saying. secondly, children are PEOPLE and while it can sometimes be frustrating to be on a flight with a crying child, think of how frustrated the parents are while they are trying to calm the child down and avoid the evil stares from those around them. and last i checked, children do not actually pose a health threat. thirdly, there are medications for allergies?!! really?!! wow!! that must mean there's a magic pill that cures allergies that none of my doctors have known about for the last 30 years. amazing that you seem to know it all. fucking idiot.
i could go on and on, but this diatribe has already gotten out of control and my soapbox is starting to bow under the weight of this argument. so let me just leave you with this - be nice to people with allergies. it is not a fake medical condition and can cause truly severe health issues in many cases. we are just as frustrated by our allergies as those around us are by us having to make a big deal of them. and if you must fly with your pet, please be respectful if someone sitting near you asks to be moved or requests you be re-seated. it's not personal, it's just the allergies talking.
Nov 4, 2009
you know you hate your job if you do what this guy did:
and you certainly should not have children if you think this is ok:
and you should probably try not to get arrested for drunk driving while dressed like this:
it's comforting to know that as often as i do dumb things or act before i think, i've never been as big an idiot as these morons.
back tomorrow with something insightful and thought-provoking. i promise.
Nov 3, 2009
walking into the store i immediately felt a slight sense of relief. i wandered through each area, trying to forget for a little while the issues that had been causing me so much tension and frustration all morning. i wound through the shelves, running my fingers along the spines of books that held stories of people's lives, of mysteries and thrillers, of tragic love stories and historical accounts of days gone by. i thumbed through art and architecture books letting the colors, lines and shapes soak into my mind. i imagined what it would be like to visit every place in the travel section and learn every language for which there was a study guide. i looked at the cheery kids books, thinking of how my niece and nephew would tear through them (somewhat literally) if they were there. i looked wistfully at holiday stories new and old, reminding myself that in a few short weeks i would be with my sister and her family in london where my stressors couldn't reach me unless i let them.
after a good part of an hour had flown by, i selected a book to purchase, ordered a cup of coffee and took a little extra time to sit quietly in the cafe and relax. i reflected on my mood after an hour among the books and realized that while i was still frustrated and stressed, i was much better. for me there is something truly calming about wandering through a bookstore, looking at the titles and holding the books in my hands. the weight of the books help center me somehow and yet the stories inside hold a promise of forgetting, of immersing myself in a different world if only for a little while.
thank you, books, and i look forward to our next therapy session.
Nov 2, 2009
self: do you HEAR the eyes rolling back in our head??
me: oh ye of little faith
self: sorry to burst your blogging bubble, but have you looked at the calendar? it's november 2. this month of crazy psychotic blogging began yesterday, a day when there was nothing but crickets from our blog
me: i know, i know. i just didn't think about it because, well....
self: say it. because you were at the bar drinking beer and doing shots in the middle of the day while watching football and you couldn't be bothered to think about anything else besides cocktails and the colts.
me: wow, self, have you been to rehab when i wasn't looking?
self: i'm just saying, we - and by we i mean you - don't have the best track record on following through, especially when there's no consequences for quitting and you are the only one to keep yourself motivated. don't drag me down with you and your procrastinating ways this time!
me: just for that we're doing it. so there. better get the creative juices flowing, self, because you've been disappointing in the witty writing category lately.
self: maybe if you'd drag yourself away from desperate housewives, glee, private practice, mad men and all of those other people you've been paying attention to, you would have heard me screaming with ideas.
me: ok, fine. less tv, more blogging. but you better come through for me. don't make us look like a collective idiot this month when people will actually be expecting posts daily.
self: you do a fine job of making us look like an idiot all on your own.
me: why do i keep you around?
self: because of my razor sharp wit and charming personality?
me: more like the meds don't work very well....
self: enough. it's time for blogging. good luck and godspeed.
(note by author - i fully apologize for the potentially craptastic posts that may be headed your way throughout the month of november. please bear with me....er...us)
Oct 16, 2009
I truly hope that this is not, as Mr. Hutcheson states, the "typical commander's assessment" of gays in the military. I was going to write about how closed-minded, disrespectful, bigoted and disgusting I find Mr. Hutcheson, but I think my friend Adam covered this so well over at his blog that I am linking to his post here. I couldn't have said it better myself.
NO GAYS IN MILITARY
As a retired Air Force pilot with combat experience during
the Persian Gulf War, let me provide your readers with a typical commander's
assessment of the "don't ask, don't tell" policy: We should have never had it in
the first place. Discrimination against those who desire to serve in the armed
forces is not only historic, it's also essential. Putting together an effective
fighting force is the responsibility of civilian and military commanders,
whether in the field, the Pentagon or the White House. National military police,
which I helped to craft, should enhance commanders' functions, not hamstring
them. I had enough problems with sleeping arrangements for women on my aircrew, let alone gay men. I should not have to worry about room assignments, who's bunking with whom, who is offended by the gay soldier or airman, or whether he's angry because no one will talk to him. I am a father to my daughter, not to men
in combat. These issues, and many others that social experiments create, stand
squarely in the way of developing an effective fighting force. America, the U.S.
armed forces to exist to protect you and your way of life, not to appease the
desires of those on the fringe of society.
Keith Hutcheson - Athens, Ga.
Oct 9, 2009
i stopped and realized that the song i had stuck in my head was "take me home, country roads" by john denver. it may sound strange to those of you reading this (if there is still anyone out there who checks my blog), but it is actually very appropriate for today, and this weekend in general. you see, today several of my family members - mom, dad, aunts, uncles and grandmother - left on a caravan to west virginia where my grandfather's ashes will be put to rest. originally hailing from west virginia, grandad is now returning to his true home, the home where he met my grandmother, fell in love and began the life that brought them so much happiness together. grandad may be gone, but he will live on in spirit in all of us. the country roads have indeed taken him home and we are all lucky to have been along for his journey.
Almost heaven, west virginia
Blue ridge mountains
Life is old there
Older than the trees
Younger than the mountains
Growin like a breeze
Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
West virginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads
All my memories gathered round her
Miners lady, stranger to blue water
Dark and dusty, painted on the sky
Misty taste of moonshine
Teardrops in my eye
Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
West virginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads
I hear her voice
In the mornin hour she calls me
The radio reminds me of my home far away
And drivin down the road I get a feelin
That I should have been home yesterday, yesterday
Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
West virginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads
Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
West virginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads
Take me home, now country roads
Take me home, now country roads
Jun 15, 2009
usually somewhere in the realm of 1st - 3rd grade you are again presented with the sacraments. and here you thought being held against your will and doused with water was the worst of it. wrong. the next two events in your catholic upbringing are first reconciliation and first communion. now, i really have no complaints about the communion thing because i remember my own quite fondly. i got a rockin' white dress, very grown up dress shoes and lots of photo opps. all i had to do was show up looking fabulous, eat a piece of dried out bread, take a sip of wine and smile nicely for pictures. oh, and eat cake and open gifts at the after party. hello - not a bad way to spend a sunday!
but let's regress. before first communion, you complete your first confession, or reconciliation, as a way to purify your soul and learn how to ask for forgiveness from god. i'll be honest - the thought of going into a confessional and confiding everything i'd done wrong, regardless of whether i'd been caught doing it, freaked me out a little. not sure if the old guy in the robe would give me a penance, i was sort of convinced that i'd burn in hell, so i started to worry. the weeks leading up to my first confession were nerve-wracking and anxiety-filled. by the time the big day came i was thinking i might tell him my sins and, instead of telling me i could be forgiven - with the correct number of incantations of the "hail mary" and "our father", of course - he would shake his head behind the screen, press a button and a trap door would open under me and send me directly to satan himself.
we were herded in like sheep and directed to sit silently and pray while we waited for our turns. one-by-one we were called in and once you finished with your confession, you were sent straight to another area to kneel and conduct your penance. this left everyone waiting on pins and needles, straining to see what each classmate looked like when they came out. would there be tears? would some be sent straight to the prinicpal's office? would there be calls to parents to inform them of just how bad their children were? we were told that our sins were just between us and the priest, and of course jesus, god and everyone in heaven, but that no other living being would be told anything and no one would get in trouble. yeah, right. we knew better than to fold with that flimsy reassurance. still, we had the fear in us from weeks of preparation and the fire and brimstone of what god does to sinners who don't confess, so we were all there to come clean, like it or not.
my turn came and i walked to the confessional, my sweaty little hands fumbling with the door. i knelt and faced the screen, the lines and prayer i needed to say scrawled on a notecard, just in case i got stage fright and forgot. i began as i had been told to - "bless me father for i have sinned. this is my...(pause for effect and deep breath)...first confession." after that, poor father got an earful. i spouted off a laundry list of sins, some true, most not. you see, i was worried after comparing notes with my friends that maybe i didn't have enough sins so i started making things up. i didn't want god to be disappointed or think that i was hiding anything so it was no holds barred - forget the fact that lying to a priest, and in effect god, is probably a worse sin that hitting my sister or being sassy to my parents.
nevertheless, i wrapped it up and let out a gargantuan sigh, awaiting my fate. the priest went through his canned response and finished up with a prayer. i was holding my breath in anticipation and was finally given my sentence. for absolution and forgiveness i simply needed to say several sets of two prayers. i scrambled out of the confessional and joined a few of my classmates, already kneeling and softly chanting their given number of repetitions. we quickly compared our respecive punshments and decided to race to see who could get finished with each prayer, each time it was said, the fastest. it was certainly more interesting that way and we were going to be forgiven, no matter how quickly we finished up, right? i figured god would appreciate our speed since there were 20 of us filling his ear that day.
i don't know how many times i've actually been to confession since then. maybe a handful of times, if that. since i've been old enough to better understand reconciliation as a catholic sacrament, i've thought about that first confession with wry amusement. the hand wringing, the bad dreams, the list of alleged sins.... everything that went into preparing for a day when all i knew was that maybe i wasn't bad enough and saying x number of prayers would wipe my slate clean. i can only imagine what the priest felt, getting up that day, looking at his calendar and seeing that he had to hear the confessions of 20 little snots. i wonder if he made bets with the nuns about how many times he'd hear "i talked back to my parents" or "i hit my brother." i really hope that he took a big ol' chalice of that alter wine in with him and at least had a few cocktails while absolving the second grade class of our heinous sins.
May 7, 2009
1. What are your current obsessions? sangria, the possibility of learning spanish via rosetta stone, things to do when my sister and family are here next month
2. Which item from your wardrobe do you wear most often? grey hoodie and black running pants. comfort is key!
3. Last dream you had? oh dear... my dreams are crazy all the time, but last night's consisted of vampires floating in a pool of water where i was stuck on a little raft, but then i blew a whistle and i was transported to a hallway with a very tall man who walked me into a room full of my colleagues waiting for me to present, but i had forgotten my shoes and was worried about being barefoot, so i ran out to the parking lot only to find it was flooded and i had to make my way to the train station through the water but there was no train, only a bus full of people who didn't speak english and wouldn't give me any shoes but then i was trapped on the bus with them and we were in some city in the mountains so i jumped off the bus and started running.... i don't think i need to go on. this is how i dream ALL the time. it's exhausting.
4. Last thing you bought? a 6" subway sammie
5. What are you listening to? my roommate watching tonight's episode of survivor
6. If you were a god/goddess who would you be? probably eris, the goddess of discord and chaos
7. Favourite holiday spots? london, st. croix, napa
8. Reading right now? just finished "the namesake" and getting ready to start "roma". still trying to finish "the corrections" - going on 7 years now....
9. Four words to describe yourself sarcastic, easy-going, friendly, realistic
10. Guilty pleasure? back-to-back episodes of old school 90210 on the weekends
11. Who or what makes you laugh until you’re weak? my niece
12. Favourite spring thing to do? it's a tie - tennis and/or sitting outside on the deck with friends, cooking out and having drinks
13. When you die, what would you like people to say about you at your funeral? "damn, that woman made a killer cocktail"
14. Best thing you ate or drank lately? mexican fiesta with the roommates on cinco de mayo
15. When did you last go for a night out? in munich at the hofbrauhaus last weekend
16. Where is the next place you'd like to travel? Italy!
17. Care to share some wisdom? expect nothing and you will rarely be disappointed
18. Song you can’t get out of your head? beyonce - "single ladies"
19. Thing you are looking forward to? my sister and family coming to chicago in june!!!!! i cannot explain how excited i am for this!!!!!!
20. Which disease or condition would you most like to see eradicated? i'm torn between cancer and alzheimer's because both have brought a lot of sadness to my family
21. What is your most irrational fear? falling down and breaking my teeth. weird, i know.
22. what irritates you on a regular basis? people who can't drive!!!
23. What is the most important lesson you've learned from someone in your life? to treat everyone fairly and not judge others - from my ma-maw who displayed this every single day
Rules of the game. Respond and rework. Answer questions on your own blog. Replace one question. Add one question. Tag 6 people.
ready, set, meme! gretchen, lyn, amanda, rachel, colleen (i know that's only 5, but that's all i have to tag!)
Apr 17, 2009
15 years ago today I would have been:
· a junior in high school who had just gotten a rockin’ new (used) sports car
· prom dress shopping
· in the middle of tennis season playing #2 doubles
· wondering why high school guys are so ridiculously immature
10 years ago today I would have been:
· still at IU, still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up
· buying alcohol for all of my underage friends
· in a horrible relationship refusing to see how badly I was being treated
· working as a server and bartender at a chain restaurant where I ended up meeting some of my very best friends
5 years ago today I would have been:
· having major meltdowns working three jobs and trying to figure out how to make the idea of moving to chicago a reality
· talking to my friend adam daily about our big plans to relocate to the windy city
· helping a non-profit start a local chapter from scratch
· living with two roommates (aka my parents)
1 year ago today I would have been:
· getting excited for my upcoming trip to London and Amsterdam in may
· working in the middle of downtown Chicago on the magnificent mile
· still single and still pretty ok with that
· deciding to move into a new apartment with three roommies (not my parents)
· celebrating my niece’s 2nd birthday an ocean away
This year I am:
· in a new job with a lot more responsibility and creative freedom
· determined to make better financial decisions and make a plan to pay off my remaining debt
· refusing to feel bad for being single and will NOT resort to internet dating, no matter how easy the commercials make it seem
· looking forward to having my sis and family come visit and stay with me!!
· treasuring the moments of laughter and clarity with my grandfather who is suffering from Alzheimer’s
· joining the board of an organization with a mission very close to my heart
· traveling as much as my vacation time and bank account will allow
· had lunch with a dear friend
· fought the battle of gym v. happy hour (happy hour won)
· sang at the top of my lungs while driving with my windows rolled down
· forced myself to work on several tedious projects that will pay off down the road
· drank 5 cups of coffee
· am still wondering why guys are so ridiculously immature
Next year I hope:
· to be in a healthier mode – more exercise, better diet, lower bmi
· to be planning my next oversees trip
· to be looking for my own apartment (unless we all agree to suffer another year in the construction zone of 4119!)
· to hold a higher position on the board
· to have moved up in my job
In five years I hope:
· to be in a much higher position in non-profit development or running a corporate foundation
· my sister and family have been convinced to move back to the states and live near me in chicago
· to have traveled to italy, spain, france and greece
· my parents are healthy and well (that goes for my whole family, actually)
· to be debt-free
· to be as close with my friends as I am now, even though many of them will be settling down, getting married and having kids
Feb 5, 2009
Jan 29, 2009
my friend rachel and i have been joking for a while about this phenomenon but didn't really have a name for it until recently. let me first give some background for those who have not - gasp! - seen the movie beetlejuice. in beetlejuice, michael keeton plays this creepily entertaining dead guy who can be summoned by the living if they call his name three times. they say "beetlejuice, beetlejuice, beetlejuice!" and in he pops, causing all sorts of trouble and chaos until he is banished again. in the beginning he seems to be a good guy, but you quickly learn he only has his own interests in mind and he keeps coming around, regardless of the fact that he isn't wanted or needed.
so, back to the theory. it has come to the attention of both rachel and myself that there are certain exes in our lives that seem to crawl out of the woodwork and contact us at the most random times. weeks or months will pass with no word from them and then suddenly - poof! - we get a call, a text, an email, a facebook message, etc. as we compared notes, we started to realize that the exes seemed to turn back up within a day, maybe hours or sometimes even minutes, of their names being brought up in conversation. hence, the beetlejuice theory was born. much like the character the theory is named after, we don't really want to hear from these people. they've been banished to our past for a reason and yet they still come around. they seemed great at first, but showed their true colors at some point and now just pop back around for various reasons, all pertaining to their own interests, not ours. inevitably, they will disappear again once they realize we are not here to play along and be at their beck and call; still, they never seem to vanish completely.
i do have to make one important note - the beetlejuice theory only works when the person who reappears is beetlejuiced on accident, i.e. mentioned in random conversation, re-telling a story, etc. it does not work to sit and chant an ex's name in the hope that he will magically text you. the whole premise of the beetlejuice theory is inadvertently summoning someone who will annoy, frustrate, and wreak havoc in your current life for their own means.
my advice - tread lightly when you talk of exes past. they will come back to haunt you in some way, shape or form.