reason #536 why i'm single....

this morning my 20-month-old niece rubbed the part of my leg exposed by a gap between my sock and pj pants and said "awwwww" just like she does when she pets her cat. clearly, it's time to shave the legs.

do you see what i see?

take a look at the picture below and tell me what it looks like.....

go ahead.... what do you think that resembles? come on, just say it. you know you want to....

you're right! it looks like a vagina! why, you ask, do i have a picture of a frilly vagina on my blog? because this is apparently the newest option in purses. that's right - this thing is a bag in which you can store your keys, phone, wallet, tampons (appropriate, eh?) and other items. what i would like to know is, who the hell would purchase this thing - at a price of $195, no less! - and actually carry it around?

i can just picture it now.....

girl walks into a bar. boy sees girl and comes over to chat. "my, what a nice vagina you have handing on your arm!" girl smiles. "why, thank you! and it's really roomy in there! much bigger than it looks from the outside!" boy and girl chat and drink, boy hopes he gets to go home with girl and see her real vagina.

seriously, who wants to carry a vagina purse?!! if they weren't so ridiculously expensive, i might actually be tempted to get one and carry it around with me just to see the reactions i would get from people.

the velvet vulva offers a variety of vagina-esque purses and bags that represent "the sacred portal to the feminine temple." don't want a shoulder bag? the velvet vulva offers the pocket vulva, a smaller version which folds into a "modest" state and is small enough to carry as a clutch. want something special for your wedding day? don't worry - there is also a line of nuptual vulvas designed for your big day. and if purses and clutches aren't your thing, you can still own your own velvet vulva miniature - a framed fabric vagina that hangs on your wall.

vulvas range from approximately $100 - $350. for that amount of money i'll go buy myself a kate spade and leave my vagina where it belongs - fully covered without a wallet or keychain tucked away inside.