the art of negotiation

i've realized lately that we spend a lot of time negotiating things in our lives. we negotiate prices on cars, furniture and appliances, how much we're willing to pay in rent, our salaries, and the going rate for stuff on craigslist. we can now go to websites, put in our information and have lenders and insurance companies fight to negotiate with us for home loans and car insurance. we negotiate with friends about where to have dinner, what time to make plans, and our mode of transportation. we negotiate with ourselves, doing such things as promising to go to the gym an extra time during the week in order to go to the bar and drink tonight or maybe stay in and save money so that we can reward ourselves with something new that might not have been affordable had we gone out. we even negotiate with "god" when the chips are down and we really need or want some kind of miracle to happen. parents negotiate with kids, lovers and spouses negotiate with one another, consumers negotiate with sellers...the list goes on and on.

so maybe the art of negotiation should be applied to dating. maybe from the intial meeting, we can start to negotiate the terms and extent of the relationship. for example, i could go into the first date asking for a specific rate of return, i.e. every phone call i make to him should yield a return call. i should also ask for an extended warranty to ensure that the relationship is fixable in the event of a malfunction. i shouldn't have to pay anything for the first 6 months and would insist on taking him for a test drive before committing to anything long term. i should ask that if the relationship lasts and we sit down for our annual evaluation, that i receive the appropriate praise and be compensated accordingly. maybe if we go in negotiating certain things - he plays poker every friday night and i reserve 1/2 price wine nights for my girlfriends (of course this includes my gays), he sets the alarm to go off(and wake me) at 5 am so he can go to the gym and i stay up late reading in bed with the lamp on, i ignore his love handles and he ignores my cellulite - we would have a common understanding and wouldn't need to argue. maybe if we approached relationships like we do purchasing a car or asking for a raise we would be less likely to settle for a product that doesn't truly fit our needs.

ta da! glad i got that all figured out. i'll let you all know how the negotiation goes next time i have a date. i should start drawing up the contract now....