carflirt 101

anyone who has spent an exhausting amount of time in his or her car knows exactly what i'm talking about. for those of you who may not, let me briefly explain the concept of carflirt (not that you can't figure it out from the title, but indulge me). driving along, you spot a hottie and proceed to make it over to his lane. if he is paying attention and takes notice of you, too, then a lot of passing and switching lanes will often take place, accompanied by lots of cool looks, some sideways glances and a few flirty smiles. it's just a fun way to pass the time when you are crawling on the interstate with no hope of getting home in a reasonable amount of time.

ok, so my favorite carflirt guy, whom i refer to as "unmarried hottie in the yellow jeep", is a guy i used to see quite often on the days when i would actually leave the office around 5:30. over the past few months, have not seen him at all, due basically to the fact that i avoid my commute like the plague and work from home whenever possible. but, in the last couple of weeks, i've now seen him twice - once when leaving the office around 5:30 (his usual commute time) and then again yesterday. yesterday was odd because i didn't leave work til 6:30, so imagine my surprise when i saw him drive up next to me and then cut me off. (totally NO need for that - traffic was actually light and moving well) i was sure it was fate. finally, the gods of love were smiling down on me, rewarding my years of single misery with my carflirt hottie. happy day!

carflirting continued for the duration of my travels on 94, with hottie looking constantly in his mirrors and even looking over and smiling at me at one point when i had to change lanes to go to my exit. got to my exit and thought he was probably gone forever. woe is me! but, i was wrong! he also took the exit and ended up next to me. he looked over a couple of times, kind of smiling, and then did a quick look again and completely started hanging back, almost as if avoiding driving next to me. he stayed a few car lengths back after that, leaving me wondering what happened. we turned opposite ways at the same intersection and the moment was gone.

i was still pondering this situation when i parked and got out of my car. i was just thinking that it was weird that he was totally playing along with the carflirt game until we were back in the city and he was right next to me. not that i expected to get a date out of this whole thing, but it was weird the way he suddenly backed off. as i opened my back door to grab my bag and computer i gasped in horror. sitting innocuously in my backseat is an infant carseat. the carseat, of course, is not actually mine, but purchased for my sister's upcoming visit with my niece, who will be a whopping 6 months old by then. do i think he saw it? yes. do i want to go hunt him down and tell him i really don't have a child? yes.

first rule of carflirt: remove all baby paraphernalia from automobile if you wish to flirt properly. seeing a carseat in your vehicle will send them driving in the opposite direction.

so over a year of playing car flirt and yesterday marked a day i was sure would go down in commuter karma as the drive of good fortune for me, but to no avail. i'm seriously thinking that next time i see him on the road i should "accidentally" rear-end him. probably wouldn't do any damage to his jeep wrangler, and whatever damage i do to my own car would be a sacrifice in the interest of my future happiness. i mean, clearly, he and i are meant to be together! (yes, that's sarcasm) still, it would make for an awfully good story when people ask us how we met....