swiss army who?

it's no secret that the swiss army knife has been known for decades as the ultimate pocket tool.  it can basically mcgyver you out of any situation where you may need to cut, slice, unscrew, file or tweeze your way to freedom.  since 1897 the swiss army knife has become well-known in more than 100 countries for precision, quality, functionality and versatility and is held as the premier all-in-one multi-tool, second to none. 

however, seeing as how i must have misplaced my swiss army knife back in the early 80s, i have turned many times to an alternate and - dare i say it? - possibly more useful jack-of-all-trades.  most of you know this helper well and probably have one residing in your home at this very moment.  if you're like me, you may have 3, even 4 of these handy little things at a moment's reach.  without further ado....



the wine key.

in addition to the obvious super power of neatly opening a bottle of wine, the wine key is also useful for:
- acting as a screw driver (i did indeed remove a towel bar and toilet paper holder from my bathroom wall with a wine key just the other day)
- prying open bottles and aluminum can tabs
- punching holes in plastic seals
- slicing through packing tape on sealed boxes
- scratching off lottery tickets
- scraping gum off one's shoe
- popping balloons
- slicing cheese (only recommended if blade has not been used for other uses on this list, i.e. scraping gum off shoes, etc.)
- prying staples out of paper
- resetting digital watch (tip of the corkscrew works amazingly well for this)
- curling ribbon on gifts
- peeling fruit (see stipulation above with slicing cheese)
- cleaning under nails (gross, but could be necessary in certain situations)
- as a weapon

i'm sure there are many more uses, but my point is this - who needs a swiss army knife when you have a wine key?!  so, to the wine key - i salute you and your many uses.  you have become my favorite household item (as if you weren't already).  i'm sure it's just a matter of time before susan komen snaps you up for a breast cancer promotion.  (that was for gary)