you snooze, you lose

let me just preface this by saying i am not a morning person. i like to stay up late and sleep in. the sound of my alarm clock sparks a feeling of hatred i can only compare in intensity to the fires of the 7th level of hell. i am not perky, nice or energetic before 11 am. that said, i seem to have a lot of crappy, weird things (granted, many of these are self-induced) happen to me in the morning.

spilling coffee on myself - at least weekly. oversleeping - constantly, thus causing me to jump out of bed cursing like a sailor and run around like a chicken with its head cut off getting ready. gas light in my car - always on when i'm in a hurry. traffic - no matter what time, where i'm going, or how the weather is, it will always be horrible. forgetting cell phone and having to go back to get it - yes. forgetting computer and having to go back to get it - of course. stepping in gum - you know it. having a bird shit on me - um, yeah. not kidding - walking out to my car on friday morning, i had a bird drop a load on my crisp, white dress shirt. auuuggghhh.

but this morning, i had a brand new encounter. walking out of my apartment, i had a sinking feeling as i headed to my car. i realized i had parked on a side street where street cleaning was to begin at 9 am. naturally, as it was well past 9 am, i muttered a string of every curse word known to man, and resigned myself to the inevitable fact that i would have a ticket glaring from its evil orange envelope on the windshield of my car. as i approached the side street, i observed a strange thing happening. people were darting out of their houses like little mice, with keys in hand, to move their cars. and that's when i saw it. the parking police. one single woman in a plastic flourescent vest now had the power to either save or completely ruin my day. and she was heading straight for my car. i broke into a flat-out run, shreiking at the top of my lungs, "wait!! wait please!!! that's my car!! don't give me a ticket!! waaaaiiiittttt!!!!"

lucky for me, she turned around to see where the racket was coming from. what a horrifying, yet amusing thing she observed - a woman in dress clothes & 3-inch heels, with bag, purse and computer flapping violently, coffee spewing from a travel mug, hair flying, hands waving wildly, running directly at her screaming like a banshee. this poor woman couldn't have looked more disturbed and confused if a flock of seagulls had swooped down upon her and tried to nest in her hair. once i was closer, she gave me the girl-you-should-know-better-than-to-park-your-damn-car-here-during-street-cleaning-like-those-other-fools-i-just-ticketed look and said, with no amusement what so ever, "well, looks like it's your lucky day." i was still thanking her profusely, between panting and gasping for air after my marathon half-block sprint, when she just shook her head and moved along to the next car.

i got in my car, said a quick prayer of thanks to the parking gods, realized i was sweating (of course) in the 55 degree weather and wondered.....does this count for my cardio today? hmmm....