relationship 101

i've been dating a great guy for the past 5 months.  we get along really well, have a great time together and have been open and honest since day 1, which has made for a surprisingly easy relationship thus far.  i love spending time with him, i really do.  but.... there are a few things you don't realize you've signed up for until you've been in the relationship long enough to really get to know those adorable "quirks" that the other person has.  i'm sure i have my fair share of endearing habits that the boyfriend could rattle off if he were asked to list a few so i don't feel that bad in sharing some of his with you, dear readers.  i'm sure i'm not the only one out there that laments on certain behaviors or wants to beat her head against the wall when these fun little quirks happen over and over and over and over...... 

so here are some of my favorites, the things that make me shake my head and poke fun at him, knowing all the while i'll grin and bear it because at the end of the day he makes me laugh and makes me happy, no matter how annoyed i get. 

the shower curtain.  i cannot comprehend why he cannot pull the shower curtain closed the way it is supposed to be.  i've shown him 100 times what it should look like after a shower is taken and yet he doesn't see the difference in pulling it closed neatly, with the curtain hanging outside the tub and the liner inside, and leaving the curtain gaping open on one end with the material bunched up half in the tub and half out of it.  apparently that looks exactly the same. 

the hair.  men are hairy creatures.  i knew this but never fully understood the implications of that until one started spending a lot of time at my apartment, shedding on things.  it's sort of like having a pet.  in fact, i fondly refer to him as chia pet or wildebeast and we often joke that it would do no good for him to shave his arms and legs because his hair grows back immediately.  still, i didn't realize i signed up for the same lint brush duties when i started dating a guy as i would have if i had gotten a cat. 

the beer smell.  what is it about guys the day after drinking beer that makes them smell as if stale beer is oozing out their pores??  it's like they douse themselves in beer and just marinate in it all night.  gross.  sometimes i want to air him out before getting near him especially if he's hungover.

the garbage disposal.  no, i'm not talking about that nifty addition that many sinks have; i'm talking about my boyfriend's ability to eat like he's not only in a race for his life but also like he's eating for a family of four.  i have never seen anyone eat the sheer volume of food he can consume in one sitting and do it at break-neck speed.  sometimes when we eat dinner i just sit and stare and see how long it takes him to come up for air. 

the dancing.  oh, did i get a good peek at the boyfriend's dancing skills this weekend.  granted, we were out for halloween and had been drinking quite a bit and his dancing was pretty much confined to moves he was doing from the comfort of his barstool, but still - i think i know exactly what he looks like when he dances at wedding receptions.  sprinkler anyone?  how about a double fist pump?  don't forget to add in a clap or two.  and all of this to an n'sync song.  i'm so proud.

the selective hearing.  this is something that i think just comes naturally with the y chromosome.  there have been so many times i've repeated a story, brought up a specific topic we had discussed or started a conversation about a subject we talked about previously, only to have him stare at me in confusion as if i was speaking swahili or had just grown a second head.  zero recollection of the topic or subject matter and how the discussion went the first time.  i'm pretty sure he listens to about 1/3 of what i say, even though he would argue to the death about this rather than admit i'm on to him. 

the fork.  by far, this is my favorite oddity about him.  he owns one fork.  ONE.  how is that even possible?  he is 32 years old and has one fork.  no matter how many times i say it or think about it, it just makes me shake my head.  needless to say, we don't eat dinner at his place.

i'm sure as things go on i'll find out more fun facts about him but until then, i'm thinking a nice set of utensils and a hearing aid are at the top of the list for potential christmas gifts.