single, shmingle

so, the enthusiasm and total acceptance i had for being single lasted approximately... let's see... roughly 72 hours. being caught up in the relief of finally ridding myself of the jackass that has annoyed, disappointed, and frustrated me for months obviously clouded my vision with rose-colored shades of delusion and gave me a falsely optimistic outlook on the dating world. what the hell was i thinking? everyone who knows me knows i am a glass-half-empty kind of girl, so i apologize if the post about being happy and excited about being single caused concern for the state of my mental health. no worries, i'm back. i think i lost sight of my own mantra, my philosophy on life overall, but most specifically, my philosophy on guys. "expect nothing and you will rarely be disappointed." i'm telling you, expect NOTHING. even then, ladies, you will still be disappointed at times. amazingly enough, the male species has the ability to disappoint even when we don't put any expectations upon them.

why the sudden bitterness and reversion to my normal self? a) clearly, my doctor needs to increase the dosage of my meds, b) i had a guy change/cancel plans with me this week, c) i broke my own rule and gave my number to a guy at a bar last weekend and, of course, he never called (see above philosophy), and d) i may have my positive moments, but when it comes down to it, i'm just plain bitter

i'm going out tonight with a group of gals and i'm not really feeling it. i know i'll have fun once i'm out, but i'm just blah about the bar scene. not that i go expecting to meet guys (again, see philosophy above as well as previous post about why bars are not a good place to meet men), but sometimes the whole scene is just a little tiring. i'm old. i'm a lush. i want to hang out with an interesting guy, talk about music, sports, art, books, whatever, sit outside, drinking wine and laughing. i want to make my life less complicated. i'm just tired of the game. i'm tired of the meat market, the fake conversation. i'm tired of the jungle.

happy being single? right.