to the bitch in the mini cooper:
yes, i'm talking to you - the woman who almost hit me while trying to merge into my lane on irving park, the one who tried to drive around me on the shoulder of the road (blocked you, didn't i?! ha!!), the idiot who almost caused 6 wrecks (yes, i counted) in getting to the entrance ramp to the expressway. why is it you feel so special that you think it's ok to bypass an entire line of cars waiting to get on that ramp? did it make your day better to cut off everyone? were we all just in your way, princess? well, guess what. you're no better or any more entitled to the road than any of us frustrated, angry, road-raging, commuters who drive this everyday. here's a reality check for you - you are NOT charlize theron and the morning commute is certainly NOT the italian job. i recommend you get in line with everyone else before some nice hummer decides to turn your cute little mini into an accordian.
sincerely,
daily commuter and petitioner to get your dumb ass off the road
to the nasty bastard picking his nose in the cadillac:
do you think your car has some kind of special bat shield quality that keeps other drivers from seeing into your automobile when you're inside? because, guess what. it sure doesn't. you could not have grossed me out more during what is already a miserable commute. i almost got sideswiped and rearended by bitch in the mini, finally get into my lane and am crawling in traffic with everyone else, only to look over and see you digging for gold in your left nostril. i'm telling you, stop now or you're going to hit brain matter. i've never seen a finger so far up one's nose. fyi - if you blow your nose before you leave the house, odds are you won't need to pick it the entire way to work. if this is your hobby for passing the time while you drive, then please, please, take up something - anything! - else. i don't care if you shoot up while sitting in the parking lot known as the kennedy. that would be better than witnessing what i did this morning. i was trapped next to you for what seemed to be an eternity and i simply cannot convey how utterly disgusting you are.
sincerely,
thoroughly disgusted fellow driver and anti-nosepicking-in-public advocate
to the hottie in the jeep that i accidentally cut off:
i'm an asshole. but, if you would like to discuss this over drinks, i'd be happy to buy the first round. next time i see you on the road, i'll toss you my business card. kisses!
love,
cute girl in the focus :)
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8 comments:
see, and you complain about your commute to work! if you didn't drive 25 miles each way to/from work, you wouldn't have these incredible stories to share!
p.s. did the hottie in the jeep have a "commuter connection" sticker? if so, you could look him up!
it's 26 miles, actually. 26 excruciatingly annoying, frustrating and painful miles of hell. and no, the hottie did not have a commuter connection sticker - believe me, i looked!
I do think that's ONE thing I won't miss about not living in Chicago. I would get terrible road rage in my pickup with no pick up.
teee heee heee!!!!!
sincerely,
the girl who formerly drove her olive green cliTaurus 15 ish miles to work & is now way to happy (insert jump-jacking smilie) to be riding the big nicely air conditioned Metro busin the am.
GOD BLESS PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION!
I dont think 26 miles quite explains your commute...we talk in minutes here in Chicago! Oh....how I don't miss that commute!! Though I now get to drive through the ghetto where those on foot don't use the crosswalk or feel the need to look both ways - they just cross and walk as slowly as possible so you have to come to a complete STOP until they get across safely. (and you wonder why there's so many hit-and-run's on the southside?)
i pick my nose in my car A LOT!!! it's my favorite driving pastime.
annie! ga-ross! however, i am not at all surprised.
Here are some links that I believe will be interested
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