me(after half a bottle of wine): maybe i should have a blog
self: um, maybe not
me: yeah, it'll be fun. i can rant about my neverending miserable experiences at the grocery store, why falling in vomit is a completely unsurprising thing to happen to me, how being single and attempting to date is kind of like living in the twilight zone with no foreseeable way out.... you get my drift. oh, and i'll throw in some happy stuff sometimes, too.
self: whatever.
me: shutup.
self: ok, do it. but you know this will be just like everything else. you want to take an art class? great! you never signed up. you took horseback riding lessons for how long? right, like 2 weeks. that whole get healthy kick you went on in 1998? how's that working out for ya? have you even finished reading "the corrections" yet? i think not....
me: quiet self. i will persevere. i will create a blog and enter the world of online social commentary and witty observation. i will keep it updated and will not abandon it as i have so many online forums in the past (r.i.p. friendster, myspace, livejournal....).
self: fine. don't come crying to me when you don't understand why no one has commented on your 157th post about how much you hate those stupid shopping carts at jewel with the plastic cars attached to the front.
me: but, those are really annoying! they're so huge they don't fit through the checkout lanes, nevermind trying to turn one of those bad boys around in the ice cream isle with a screaming child belted into the front behind the little plastic steering wheel-
self: don't start.
me: fine. i digress. but, you'll see. this blogging thing will be fun with a capital F!
self: exactly how much wine have you had tonight?
me (bottle near empty): shhhhhh. don't you judge me!
self: never. there's absolutely nothing wrong with sitting at home alone, consuming an entire bottle of wine while debating with yourself about the pros and cons of starting a blog....
me: do i detect sarcasm?
self: god, i hope so. you and i would die without it. ok, i give in. let's blog.
me: yipee! (hiccup)
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8 comments:
Woo Hoo! I'm so glad that you won over Self and started a blog. And I for one can NEVER get enough of your rants about the kiddie carts at Jewel...
Blog long and prosper.
LOL! you crack me up, swan (and self!). keep it going with your random, sometimes witty, humor!
congrats! i love it!
damn. methinks i might start one of these of my own... i always said i would once i'm done with school... and i'm done with school now. hmmmmmmmm....
shit. i did it. i had to so i could comment on yours. yikes!
LOVE IT!!
Girl - you FROCK! i linked your Blog in my Blog - so we're like interblogged.
you're totally linked on my blog. celebrate.
girl! you crack me up! maybe now that i have time....i should blog too. hmmmmmmmm
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