beer rebate? what?

i've noticed lately that if you purchase certain brands of beer, they come with a rebate. typically, we're talking a $2 rebate on a sixer that runs somewhere in the neighborhood of $7- $8. believe me, i'm all about saving money and looking for a good deal. hell, when i have friends coming into town, i buy a case of 3 buck chuck and offer it proudly as the house specialty wine. that said, if you're that broke that you need to send in a rebate to get your $2 back on those 6 bottles of yummy goodness, shouldn't you reconsider your financial situation and your choice of beverage? maybe you should just grab a six-pack of $6 beer and call it a day. maybe the rebate enables those who enjoy snacking while imbibing to purchase a bag of chips, knowing they'll get their $2 back. hmmm.

i just find this beer rebate thing to be a strange phenomenon. how many people actually send in the rebate form? the time it takes to fill it out, slap a 39 cent stamp on it, and get it to the mailbox is at least $2 worth of effort (including cost of stamp) and several precious minutes of your life you will never get back. do those submitting their rebate anxiously check the mail in hopes that thier big whopping check has come? it's not like a tax refund, people - it's $2. aren't they a tad embarrassed to show up at the bank with a $2 check to cash or deposit? maybe those who take advantage of the beer rebate just stockpile all of thier rebate checks and then present them to thier bank at one time, en masse. that would be the logical thing to do, i guess, though you then run the risk of looking like a frugal alcoholic. i use the word frugal as it seems to imply a tad more sophistication than the word cheap and in order to get the rebate, you seem to at least have to drink good beer. i don't think you're going to find a rebate offer on a six-pack of pbr or busch light. ok, maybe there is, but it can't be more than a quarter. i mean, really - is a beer rebate something--

self: ahem. sorry to interrupt, but.....

me: what? what do you want? i'm almost done with this weird beer rebate thing and my even weirder fascination with it. what do you need?

self: just thought you'd be interested to know - i did a few quick calculations and if we bought beer at the rate we bought wine, and i was VERY conservative in my average, believe me, and got a $2 rebate, we would save over $400 a year because of it.

me: wow. $400? really?

self: and that's being very conservative. if i estimated it based on how much wine we REALLY consume....

me: don't tell me. please don't. huh. i guess when you put it that way....

self: looks like we'll be collecting rebate checks from now on, eh?

me: (sigh) another successful smack down by self. i hope the chase banking center enjoys processing my $2 checks.