beer, sweat, and chewing gum

tonight i went out to a neighborhood festival with my fabulous friend and her wonderful bf. good bands, lots of drinks, fun times. however, because i ALWAYS have to find something to complain about, here i am.

first off, i sweat entirely too much. like, more than any average female. yes, it was super hot tonight and really humid, but as i was looking around, drenched with sweat, i saw that all of the other girls around me looked like they were barely bothered by the heat. a few had some slight perspiration around their temples, but none of them compared to me. my hair was practically soaked on the underside because it had been sticking to my sweaty neck. my forehead and upper lip were constantly perspiring. ga-ross. i felt like i should come home to my air-conditioned hole and stay here til october. how is it that i sweat in such an abnormal and disturbing manner?!! ick. yuck. and, to make matters worse, there were lots of cute guys there. one in particular was standing near me, actually right next to me at one point, and never even so much as glanced in my direction. i felt invisible. miss celophane strikes again. as if to prove my point, i nearly got knocked down several times, like i wasn't even there. the icing on the cake was when the band decided to play an old school song by the group mr. big. as i looked around while the band belted out the words, "i'm the one who wants to be with you. deep inside i hope you feel it - you feel it!! - too," i noticed just how many couples i was near as they all put their arms around each other, hugged, kissed and swayed to this declaration of eternal love. puke. but, i admit i was jealous. so, in response, i chugged my beer. and sweated some more.

we finally decided to leave and stopped by subway to grab food. after that, i took the train home and my friends decided to cab it. as i was sitting on the train, thinking about my night and my gross sweating problem, i looked down at my feet. i may as well have gone barefoot tonight. my feet were NASTY. black streaks emerged from my flip flops onto my toes and sides of my feet. my nail polish had been chipped. both feet were sticky from beer being spilled on them repeatedly as drunk people pushed their way past me into the crowd. but, by far the most disgusting thing to happen to me tonight, was realizing that there was something stuck to the top of my right foot. i reached down to wipe it off and found - to my horror - that it was chewing gum. nasty, dirty, blackened chewing gum from some stranger's mouth. again, puke. the worst part was probably the fact that i tried to brush it off with my hand and got it stuck to my palm. here i sat, on the train, trying to wipe someone else's wad of discarded gum off my foot and hand. eewwwww. yeah, i felt gross. i got some pretty disgusted looks from the girls sitting by me, but whatever. i briefly thought about launching my subway sandwich at them, just for spite, but thought twice when i realized that would result in no dinner.

all in all, i really did have a great time. i'm just reminded of my loneliness when i go out and see all of these couples, all of these skinny, pretty, non-sweaty girls, hot boys, and i'm by myself. that's not to say that i'm not physically there with friends, that's not what i mean. i mean, i'm not going home with anyone at the end of the night, i'm not there talking to guys and meeting new prospects. i'm the yucky girl chugging her beer, getting pushed aside, and ending up with chewing gum stuck to her foot. i saw myself in the mirror when i got home and i can't blame the guys out there - i looked really bad and i wouldn't have thought twice about me either. ugh.